I get discouraged as I see the lighter riders peel away from me on the ascents. I am digging in for all I'm worth and the riders I was with only moments ago seem to float away.
A quote from Bicycling magazine hangs in my office, "It's simple, brutal, and cruelly effective: For every 5 pounds you lose, you climb about 30 seconds faster over 5 km of uphill."
I've discussed this a great deal with one of my closest friends, someone who on the surface looks the least likely to understand my frustration yet has been my biggest source of support.
A couple things she said to me this week really resonated. One, she told me that I am in great shape, better than most women, and better than I've ever been before. This shouldn't be news to someone who works out an average of two hours per day but it's not how I see myself. I feel as though I will never be in shape until I lose more weight, that the two things are mutually exclusive.
That takes me to the second thing she said, that I use my weight as an excuse to hold me back from what I can achieve physically. I have never thought about it in those terms but she is absolutely right.
It's time to stop using weight as an excuse and to push even harder. This week I'm going to examine food from a fuelling perspective. My food choices will be evaluated on whether they have the potential to increase athletic performance or slow me down. I will also carefully consider the amount I eat. It's time to have food propel me forward instead of holding me back.
